Fic: Five Women Jayne Cobb Loves (1/3)
Aug. 31st, 2009 11:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
harahelI wrote a fic. It is het. I have no explanation except that this pairing really appeals to me.
Title: Five Women Jayne Cobb Loves
Author: Vera
Rating: R-ish for bad language, whores and violence.
Pairing: Jayne/River, Jayne/OFCs
Summary: The women who made the man.
Author Notes: Written for [info]Lauren how_obscure over at [info]rayne_exchange. The prompt was
"Your mind honey is a bleak place / Living in your mind's living in a blank space" -- Action This Day by Queen. Uh...yeah. I'm sorry. This fic got away from me and I'm now no longer sure how it relates to the prompt. I hope you still enjoy it!
This is un-beta'd. I ran out of time to get it looked at. I hope you like it, warts and all.
1. Ma
There were worse places to grow up than a bordello. Si’s place was even nice enough for a barely terraformed dirtball of a moon like Thanatos. The girls didn’t have to sleep where they work and only did rough stuff if they wanted to. Si even let Toddy’s boy have the run of the place as long as he worked behind the bar during prime hours sweeping and cleaning glasses.
"You got a good eye and a steady hand." Si told him once, bending down until he could smell the baking powder she used on her teeth, her pendulous breasts hypnotizing him.
"Man with skills like that can get far."
The girls treated him like a mascot. Before the johns came in the evening, they'd all kiss him good night for luck. In the early afternoon, they taught him what little math and reading they’d picked up before turning to the verse's oldest profession. Jayne’s earliest memories were of sitting next to perfumed ladies in bathrobes and curlers as they ran their fingers over columns of numbers. They'd teach him how to add their night’s take or tell him stories from their own childhoods. Alvin, the night bartender had different lessons like how to throw a punch when someone got rowdy and telling the difference between angry and dangerous.
Every afternoon when his Ma woke up, he would brush out her glossy black hair. She was a quiet woman, barely out of girlhood herself. Jayne thought she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Her hugs smelled like lavender and talcum powder, her touch on his skin was always cool and reassuring.
When Jayne was ten and already big enough to act as a bouncer on busy nights, his Ma up and got married. Its not that he didn’t like his stepfather. He did actually. Dom was a good man, who didn’t mind that his ex-whore wife had a kid. Even made Jayne a Cobb all official like. But Jayne wasn't cut out to live in a farmhouse miles away from the nearest town. Dom tried to compensate by teaching him how to hunt, tracking pray and keeping his rifle clean. It was Dom that taught him never to trust his eyes. In the early spring, Dom would spend hours running his fingers through the soil, rubbing it between his fingers, smelling the rich earth and sometimes touching his tongue to it. Jayne watched and learned.
Eventually, Jayne knew enough to range out into the woods by himself. He'd eat what he could hunt down, got used to the rain pouring down around his shoulders and wile away hours shooting at trees. Eventually, he got it so he could pound five or six hits in a row dead even on the same spot. Then he'd go hunting, bring down a deer, clean and butcher it right on the spot before bringing it home for his Ma to cook up.
“Look atcha.” His Ma would say when he came back from these trips, blood spattered and eyes sparkling. “You gotta love for death, child.”
“Boy just needs some churchin’.” Dom would put in. But that was Dom’s answer to everything. His Ma knew better.
“You’re a good boy.” She would whisper to him when she saw him to bed. “But even when you ain’t, your Ma loves you.”
Sometimes when he's trying to sleep in his big bed, he thought about the noises of the whorehouse that used to lull him to bed. They weren't the gentle croakings of frogs or the soft tread of Dom's boots as he headed upstairs. So he conjures up the raucous jokes of men half-drunk and the giggling of girls that turned to moans as they serviced their customers. He even remember the exact sound of his Ma coming in to check on him after a bad night. How her footsteps would be a little heavier, how her kiss on his forehead was a little more forceful like she was reminding herself of what was good in the world. Thinking on those things, only then could he fall asleep.
2. Ellie
The summer of his fourteenth year, Jayne earned enough coin to buy a beaut of a gun, a fifth of whiskey and a whore of his own. Out of loyalty, he went to Si’s house, but chose a new girl. Last thing he needed was one of the old gals remembering on his kiddie antics when he wanted sexin’.
He chose Eleanor because she'd only come to Si's a week ago and was only a little older than him. Her hair was the color of Dom’s wheat and somewhere along the way she’d lost her left arm. But her remaining hand was warm on his and she smiled at him as he fumbled with her costume.
Lying next to her afterward, he felt awkward.
“You gotta brush?”
She frowned, but handed over a worn wooden handle.
“You’re an odd one, Jayne Cobb.” She teased as he ran it over her hair.
“Whatta ya mean?” He wasn’t paying much mind to her. It was more of a fidget than anything else.
“You act like thug, but you got manners in bed. Muscled like a farmboy, but talk like a townie.” She leaned back to smile up at him.
“Guess so.” He set aside a brush and ran his hands over her shoulders, spilling over her small breasts. “Reckon a man can sometimes be two things.”
“And you’re a man already?” She teased. “One tumble don’t make a man out a yah.”
“What about two?” He offered.
After the second time, his eyes wandered a bit more.
"Why do you have a guitar?" He asked her. "You can't play it."
"Used to." She smiled, a bit wistfully. "I miss it some."
“Would’ve gotten rid of it, if it were me.” He twirled a lock of her hair around his finger. “Like things to be useful.”
“It is useful.” She shrugged. “Reminds me of where I came from and of my brother what left it to me after his passing.”
Jayne pressed his hand to her shoulder and left money on the table for her.
He was real faithful to Eleanor for a year. Whenever he had the coin, he’d go see her. Never thought much about it. All of his friends had a regular girl they liked more than others.
One night, lying together in a pool of sweat, Eleanor stroked his face.
“I don’t want you payin’ for it no more.”
“Huh?” He turned to her, feelin’ a bit of a pang in his heart. “Don’t you like me, Ellie?”
“Like you a bit too much.” She kissed him. “Don’t feel like work with you and that’s a mite dangerous for the likes of me.”
“Then you can be my girl.” He blurted, the words out of his mouth before he thought about them. “I like you just fine.”
“You gonna make an honest woman out of me?” She laughed.
"Yeah." He grinned. "Why not? Just let me tell my Ma."
His Ma's reaction was not exactly what he hoped for.
"Oh, Jayne." She sighed, rubbing her swollen belly. His half-sister was growing in there, listening in.
"What Ma?" He was sitting next to her on the sofa, rubbing her feet.
"You're just so young, baby." She smiled fondly at him. "I don't want to see you grow up too quick with a girl whats already been used hard."
"Ellie ain't hard." Jayne frowned.
"You can't be otherwise in that line of work." She sighed again. "Maybe it's my fault, raising you where I did, but there weren't no choice at the time."
"No!" He protested. "You did good, Ma."
"You promise always to be this loyal to your old Ma?" She asked, eyes alight.
"Course!"
She closed her eyes for a long minute and he thought she might have fallen off to sleep until she opened them again and pinned him with her stare. Her eyes were the same clear blue as his own and sometimes he figured she could see right into his head.
"Let me talk to Dom, all right?"
"You mean, I can go with her?"
"I said I'd talk to him, don't go gettin' too excited now." But she looked like she was plotting and in his favor, so Jayne figured it work out. And sure enough in the morning, Dom told her to bring Ellie along for dinner that night.
"Do I look all right?" Ellie fussed over dress. She's picked her least whorish outfit, the one she wore on her days off.
"Look real pretty." Jayne assured her, his hands sweating as he rubbed them over his knees.
Dom and Ma were waiting for them on the porch. Ma looked over Ellie real close, lingering on her missing arm, then smiled real gentle like at her.
"It's nice to meet you." She held out a hand. "I'm Toddy Cobb. Jayne's told me so much about you."
"Really?" Ellie blurted, then blushed red. "Only he's not one for talking or telling tales, usually."
"That's our Jayne." Ma looked over to him, raising an eyebrow. "Why don't you come in and help me set the table. I'd not usually ask, but I'm havin' a mite of trouble these days."
"I'd be happy to Mrs. Cobb."
Jayne watched as the two women disappeared into the house, than turned slowly to face Dom.
"Boy, you sure like gettin' yourself in a whole mess o'trouble."
"Ain't trouble." He muttered.
"I can't speak against her profession, given me marrying your Ma and all." Dom rubbed his stubble. "I think you're young for it."
"I'm fifteen!" He protested, standing as tall as he could which was pretty tall these days. Nearly lookin' Dom in the eye tall. "Ma had me by then."
"And even she'd say it was early. She loves you hard, son, but she was a bitty thing when she had you. If it hadn't been for that gorram rutting pimp o'hers... Well. Good thing Si took her in is all." Dom rubbed the back of his neck. Jayne tried to remember when he'd heard Dom swear before and couldn't. More like Dom to be scoldin' him for his language. "In any case, you two are just babes. But your Ma has one o'her ideas."
"I like her ideas." Jayne perked up.
"You would." Dom rolled his eyes. "We're gonna take the girl in. We'll need an extra set of hands round her with your Ma being laid up again. You can court her proper, let the neighborhood get to know her a bit. Marry her if you've a mind when you're both of age."
"Really?" It was better than he hoped for.
"But Jayne boy, we gotta make her look respectable. If you so much as kiss her when your Ma and I ain't lookin' on to make sure it's shiny, I'll hide you. Dong ma?"
"Yessir." Jayne agreed.
He kept that promise for the entire day it took to move Ellie's few things from Si's to the room under the stairs. He crept down as soon as he could hear Dom's deep snores and kept her company until the morning birds started to sing. They were real careful about it. Jayne couldn't remember being happier in his life. During the day life was regular like, doing hard work in the fields or hunting. But at night, he ate dinner with his family, Ellie included. His Ma had taken a real shine to her and they chatted about all sorts of things. Slowly, Ellie taught him to play the guitar while he tried to pass on the little bit about math he recalled. She wanted to be useful.
They were all in the kitchen when it happened. Ellie was peeling potatoes, using the winch Jayne had rigged for her to hold it still when the knife fell from her hand.
"Ellie, what in the world?" Ma reached out to her, too late. The girl started to shake and fell to the floor. Ellie was thrashing on the floor, her eyes rolled back in her head. For a long moment, everyone just stared.
"Get her arm!" Ma snapped at him. "She'll hurt herself like this."
Trying to hold her down gained Jayne a shiner, but he didn't notice it. When Ellie came to, she drooled a bit, her words slurring.
"Honey, has this happened before?" His Ma was stroking sweaty hair off her forehead.
"No, m'am." Her voice so tiny and scared, Jayne started to get goosepimples. "I'd like to go to bed now."
"You go right ahead. Jayne, carry her. I don't think she should be walkin'."
When he picked her up, he could feel her trembling through her thin cotton dress. He set her down real gently on the bed.
"I love you, Jayne." She told him as he tucked the covers in around her.
"Love you too, Ellie girl." He kissed her, made sure she was sleeping before he went back to the kitchen. He could hear his Ma and Dom talking money and doctors and he swallowed hard.
"I got money." He said quietly. They both turned on him. "I was gonna save up to get her that pony she liked."
"Oh." His Ma sniffed, hugging him hard. "Jayne, it ain't the money."
"What she got....well." Dom coughed. "Maybe the Doc will tell us wrong."
The ride to town went on forever, Ellie had another fit and Jayne had to climb in the back of the mule to hold her flailing limbs close. Ma and Dom settled in to the waiting room, but Jayne paced unable to settle.
“Mr. Cobb?” The doctor darkened the door. Dom shuffled to his feet, but Jayne got to him first.
“That’s me.” He stood, stomach sinking.
“She’s got a few weeks.” The doctor smirked. “Victim of her profession.”
Jayne didn’t feel any better after he’d laid him out, but these things couldn’t be permitted. He never did get a clear answer as to what got into Ellie’s fragile system and twisted her up inside. Instead, he carried her home laid her in his own bed and used the money he'd saved up to make her comfortable.
"Son." Dom stood behind him two days into his vigil. Ellie's eyes were unfocused, but she was awake, slowly eating the fruit he put before her.
"Yeah?" Jayne looked over his shoulder.
"Here." Dom pressed a bottle into his hand. "Remember when I put my hand through that shredder and lost my thumb?"
"Course. Bloodiest thing I ever saw."
"Doc gave me them pills for the pain. Made me sleepy so I stopped taken 'em. Only took one to make a big man like me woozy. Figure a whole bottle and a bitty girl..."
They both looked over at Ellie who's eyes had slid close again, her hand curved around a half eaten apple.
"Don't know if I can." Jayne sputtered.
"If she were a deer or rabbit, you already would've. She's good people, she loved you hard, but nothin' is in front of her now but pain. So think on it. Your Ma thinks I done thrown 'em away."
In the end, there were no goodbyes. By the time Jayne readied himself to dose her, she'd been delirious for days. It was the first time he'd taken a human life, but he was too miserable to care. Her things sat untouched in her room, readied for burning in case the bug was infectious. Jayne slipped down the stairs like he had to to sex her up, but this time he stole in for only a moment, taking down her guitar and hiding it under his bed.
“You did your best.” His Ma laid her hand on his arm during the funeral. “She had a good end because of you.”
“I wanted to do right by her. Shouldn’t have waited so long.” He kicked at the dirt, sending a shower over the coffin. “Spent too much time worrying bout other people.”
“You did your best.” She said again. “C’mon home now.”
Title: Five Women Jayne Cobb Loves
Author: Vera
Rating: R-ish for bad language, whores and violence.
Pairing: Jayne/River, Jayne/OFCs
Summary: The women who made the man.
Author Notes: Written for [info]Lauren how_obscure over at [info]rayne_exchange. The prompt was
"Your mind honey is a bleak place / Living in your mind's living in a blank space" -- Action This Day by Queen. Uh...yeah. I'm sorry. This fic got away from me and I'm now no longer sure how it relates to the prompt. I hope you still enjoy it!
This is un-beta'd. I ran out of time to get it looked at. I hope you like it, warts and all.
1. Ma
There were worse places to grow up than a bordello. Si’s place was even nice enough for a barely terraformed dirtball of a moon like Thanatos. The girls didn’t have to sleep where they work and only did rough stuff if they wanted to. Si even let Toddy’s boy have the run of the place as long as he worked behind the bar during prime hours sweeping and cleaning glasses.
"You got a good eye and a steady hand." Si told him once, bending down until he could smell the baking powder she used on her teeth, her pendulous breasts hypnotizing him.
"Man with skills like that can get far."
The girls treated him like a mascot. Before the johns came in the evening, they'd all kiss him good night for luck. In the early afternoon, they taught him what little math and reading they’d picked up before turning to the verse's oldest profession. Jayne’s earliest memories were of sitting next to perfumed ladies in bathrobes and curlers as they ran their fingers over columns of numbers. They'd teach him how to add their night’s take or tell him stories from their own childhoods. Alvin, the night bartender had different lessons like how to throw a punch when someone got rowdy and telling the difference between angry and dangerous.
Every afternoon when his Ma woke up, he would brush out her glossy black hair. She was a quiet woman, barely out of girlhood herself. Jayne thought she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Her hugs smelled like lavender and talcum powder, her touch on his skin was always cool and reassuring.
When Jayne was ten and already big enough to act as a bouncer on busy nights, his Ma up and got married. Its not that he didn’t like his stepfather. He did actually. Dom was a good man, who didn’t mind that his ex-whore wife had a kid. Even made Jayne a Cobb all official like. But Jayne wasn't cut out to live in a farmhouse miles away from the nearest town. Dom tried to compensate by teaching him how to hunt, tracking pray and keeping his rifle clean. It was Dom that taught him never to trust his eyes. In the early spring, Dom would spend hours running his fingers through the soil, rubbing it between his fingers, smelling the rich earth and sometimes touching his tongue to it. Jayne watched and learned.
Eventually, Jayne knew enough to range out into the woods by himself. He'd eat what he could hunt down, got used to the rain pouring down around his shoulders and wile away hours shooting at trees. Eventually, he got it so he could pound five or six hits in a row dead even on the same spot. Then he'd go hunting, bring down a deer, clean and butcher it right on the spot before bringing it home for his Ma to cook up.
“Look atcha.” His Ma would say when he came back from these trips, blood spattered and eyes sparkling. “You gotta love for death, child.”
“Boy just needs some churchin’.” Dom would put in. But that was Dom’s answer to everything. His Ma knew better.
“You’re a good boy.” She would whisper to him when she saw him to bed. “But even when you ain’t, your Ma loves you.”
Sometimes when he's trying to sleep in his big bed, he thought about the noises of the whorehouse that used to lull him to bed. They weren't the gentle croakings of frogs or the soft tread of Dom's boots as he headed upstairs. So he conjures up the raucous jokes of men half-drunk and the giggling of girls that turned to moans as they serviced their customers. He even remember the exact sound of his Ma coming in to check on him after a bad night. How her footsteps would be a little heavier, how her kiss on his forehead was a little more forceful like she was reminding herself of what was good in the world. Thinking on those things, only then could he fall asleep.
2. Ellie
The summer of his fourteenth year, Jayne earned enough coin to buy a beaut of a gun, a fifth of whiskey and a whore of his own. Out of loyalty, he went to Si’s house, but chose a new girl. Last thing he needed was one of the old gals remembering on his kiddie antics when he wanted sexin’.
He chose Eleanor because she'd only come to Si's a week ago and was only a little older than him. Her hair was the color of Dom’s wheat and somewhere along the way she’d lost her left arm. But her remaining hand was warm on his and she smiled at him as he fumbled with her costume.
Lying next to her afterward, he felt awkward.
“You gotta brush?”
She frowned, but handed over a worn wooden handle.
“You’re an odd one, Jayne Cobb.” She teased as he ran it over her hair.
“Whatta ya mean?” He wasn’t paying much mind to her. It was more of a fidget than anything else.
“You act like thug, but you got manners in bed. Muscled like a farmboy, but talk like a townie.” She leaned back to smile up at him.
“Guess so.” He set aside a brush and ran his hands over her shoulders, spilling over her small breasts. “Reckon a man can sometimes be two things.”
“And you’re a man already?” She teased. “One tumble don’t make a man out a yah.”
“What about two?” He offered.
After the second time, his eyes wandered a bit more.
"Why do you have a guitar?" He asked her. "You can't play it."
"Used to." She smiled, a bit wistfully. "I miss it some."
“Would’ve gotten rid of it, if it were me.” He twirled a lock of her hair around his finger. “Like things to be useful.”
“It is useful.” She shrugged. “Reminds me of where I came from and of my brother what left it to me after his passing.”
Jayne pressed his hand to her shoulder and left money on the table for her.
He was real faithful to Eleanor for a year. Whenever he had the coin, he’d go see her. Never thought much about it. All of his friends had a regular girl they liked more than others.
One night, lying together in a pool of sweat, Eleanor stroked his face.
“I don’t want you payin’ for it no more.”
“Huh?” He turned to her, feelin’ a bit of a pang in his heart. “Don’t you like me, Ellie?”
“Like you a bit too much.” She kissed him. “Don’t feel like work with you and that’s a mite dangerous for the likes of me.”
“Then you can be my girl.” He blurted, the words out of his mouth before he thought about them. “I like you just fine.”
“You gonna make an honest woman out of me?” She laughed.
"Yeah." He grinned. "Why not? Just let me tell my Ma."
His Ma's reaction was not exactly what he hoped for.
"Oh, Jayne." She sighed, rubbing her swollen belly. His half-sister was growing in there, listening in.
"What Ma?" He was sitting next to her on the sofa, rubbing her feet.
"You're just so young, baby." She smiled fondly at him. "I don't want to see you grow up too quick with a girl whats already been used hard."
"Ellie ain't hard." Jayne frowned.
"You can't be otherwise in that line of work." She sighed again. "Maybe it's my fault, raising you where I did, but there weren't no choice at the time."
"No!" He protested. "You did good, Ma."
"You promise always to be this loyal to your old Ma?" She asked, eyes alight.
"Course!"
She closed her eyes for a long minute and he thought she might have fallen off to sleep until she opened them again and pinned him with her stare. Her eyes were the same clear blue as his own and sometimes he figured she could see right into his head.
"Let me talk to Dom, all right?"
"You mean, I can go with her?"
"I said I'd talk to him, don't go gettin' too excited now." But she looked like she was plotting and in his favor, so Jayne figured it work out. And sure enough in the morning, Dom told her to bring Ellie along for dinner that night.
"Do I look all right?" Ellie fussed over dress. She's picked her least whorish outfit, the one she wore on her days off.
"Look real pretty." Jayne assured her, his hands sweating as he rubbed them over his knees.
Dom and Ma were waiting for them on the porch. Ma looked over Ellie real close, lingering on her missing arm, then smiled real gentle like at her.
"It's nice to meet you." She held out a hand. "I'm Toddy Cobb. Jayne's told me so much about you."
"Really?" Ellie blurted, then blushed red. "Only he's not one for talking or telling tales, usually."
"That's our Jayne." Ma looked over to him, raising an eyebrow. "Why don't you come in and help me set the table. I'd not usually ask, but I'm havin' a mite of trouble these days."
"I'd be happy to Mrs. Cobb."
Jayne watched as the two women disappeared into the house, than turned slowly to face Dom.
"Boy, you sure like gettin' yourself in a whole mess o'trouble."
"Ain't trouble." He muttered.
"I can't speak against her profession, given me marrying your Ma and all." Dom rubbed his stubble. "I think you're young for it."
"I'm fifteen!" He protested, standing as tall as he could which was pretty tall these days. Nearly lookin' Dom in the eye tall. "Ma had me by then."
"And even she'd say it was early. She loves you hard, son, but she was a bitty thing when she had you. If it hadn't been for that gorram rutting pimp o'hers... Well. Good thing Si took her in is all." Dom rubbed the back of his neck. Jayne tried to remember when he'd heard Dom swear before and couldn't. More like Dom to be scoldin' him for his language. "In any case, you two are just babes. But your Ma has one o'her ideas."
"I like her ideas." Jayne perked up.
"You would." Dom rolled his eyes. "We're gonna take the girl in. We'll need an extra set of hands round her with your Ma being laid up again. You can court her proper, let the neighborhood get to know her a bit. Marry her if you've a mind when you're both of age."
"Really?" It was better than he hoped for.
"But Jayne boy, we gotta make her look respectable. If you so much as kiss her when your Ma and I ain't lookin' on to make sure it's shiny, I'll hide you. Dong ma?"
"Yessir." Jayne agreed.
He kept that promise for the entire day it took to move Ellie's few things from Si's to the room under the stairs. He crept down as soon as he could hear Dom's deep snores and kept her company until the morning birds started to sing. They were real careful about it. Jayne couldn't remember being happier in his life. During the day life was regular like, doing hard work in the fields or hunting. But at night, he ate dinner with his family, Ellie included. His Ma had taken a real shine to her and they chatted about all sorts of things. Slowly, Ellie taught him to play the guitar while he tried to pass on the little bit about math he recalled. She wanted to be useful.
They were all in the kitchen when it happened. Ellie was peeling potatoes, using the winch Jayne had rigged for her to hold it still when the knife fell from her hand.
"Ellie, what in the world?" Ma reached out to her, too late. The girl started to shake and fell to the floor. Ellie was thrashing on the floor, her eyes rolled back in her head. For a long moment, everyone just stared.
"Get her arm!" Ma snapped at him. "She'll hurt herself like this."
Trying to hold her down gained Jayne a shiner, but he didn't notice it. When Ellie came to, she drooled a bit, her words slurring.
"Honey, has this happened before?" His Ma was stroking sweaty hair off her forehead.
"No, m'am." Her voice so tiny and scared, Jayne started to get goosepimples. "I'd like to go to bed now."
"You go right ahead. Jayne, carry her. I don't think she should be walkin'."
When he picked her up, he could feel her trembling through her thin cotton dress. He set her down real gently on the bed.
"I love you, Jayne." She told him as he tucked the covers in around her.
"Love you too, Ellie girl." He kissed her, made sure she was sleeping before he went back to the kitchen. He could hear his Ma and Dom talking money and doctors and he swallowed hard.
"I got money." He said quietly. They both turned on him. "I was gonna save up to get her that pony she liked."
"Oh." His Ma sniffed, hugging him hard. "Jayne, it ain't the money."
"What she got....well." Dom coughed. "Maybe the Doc will tell us wrong."
The ride to town went on forever, Ellie had another fit and Jayne had to climb in the back of the mule to hold her flailing limbs close. Ma and Dom settled in to the waiting room, but Jayne paced unable to settle.
“Mr. Cobb?” The doctor darkened the door. Dom shuffled to his feet, but Jayne got to him first.
“That’s me.” He stood, stomach sinking.
“She’s got a few weeks.” The doctor smirked. “Victim of her profession.”
Jayne didn’t feel any better after he’d laid him out, but these things couldn’t be permitted. He never did get a clear answer as to what got into Ellie’s fragile system and twisted her up inside. Instead, he carried her home laid her in his own bed and used the money he'd saved up to make her comfortable.
"Son." Dom stood behind him two days into his vigil. Ellie's eyes were unfocused, but she was awake, slowly eating the fruit he put before her.
"Yeah?" Jayne looked over his shoulder.
"Here." Dom pressed a bottle into his hand. "Remember when I put my hand through that shredder and lost my thumb?"
"Course. Bloodiest thing I ever saw."
"Doc gave me them pills for the pain. Made me sleepy so I stopped taken 'em. Only took one to make a big man like me woozy. Figure a whole bottle and a bitty girl..."
They both looked over at Ellie who's eyes had slid close again, her hand curved around a half eaten apple.
"Don't know if I can." Jayne sputtered.
"If she were a deer or rabbit, you already would've. She's good people, she loved you hard, but nothin' is in front of her now but pain. So think on it. Your Ma thinks I done thrown 'em away."
In the end, there were no goodbyes. By the time Jayne readied himself to dose her, she'd been delirious for days. It was the first time he'd taken a human life, but he was too miserable to care. Her things sat untouched in her room, readied for burning in case the bug was infectious. Jayne slipped down the stairs like he had to to sex her up, but this time he stole in for only a moment, taking down her guitar and hiding it under his bed.
“You did your best.” His Ma laid her hand on his arm during the funeral. “She had a good end because of you.”
“I wanted to do right by her. Shouldn’t have waited so long.” He kicked at the dirt, sending a shower over the coffin. “Spent too much time worrying bout other people.”
“You did your best.” She said again. “C’mon home now.”
