harahel: (Default)
[personal profile] harahel
Is there a diffrence? I say yes a huge one. Because today I felt lonely. A harsh empty lonliness even thought i was no more or less alone then I usually am.
It is often one of my greatest fears that I will come to enjoy my aloness so mch i will retire completely from real life and exist only to other people online. Mostly my epxerance as an only child has forced me to entertain myself and most of the time I do.
But today, I felt sad and pathetic and alone and all I wanted was to have one friend who I saw everyday to give me a hug and say, "hey, it's all good, let's go get some choclate and feel blah together or rent a movie or something." But I've got bupkus. My best friend is Long island and my online friends are even farther. I hate days like this. I have fencing soon , m match and I sooo don't want to go. God, this week sucks ass.

July 2020

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