Because Merry and Pippin are together.
Mar. 19th, 2004 01:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
harahelComing to Fruition
PG 13
Summary: Faramir Took asks his father about love. mild incest.
A sliver of light feel from the open study door to paint shadows on the walls of the hall. Faramir stood anxiously outside, feeling for the first time a trepidation in his father's presence. The Thain was the most good natured and indulgent father any son could hope for. Many were the days that they took off together in search of some mundane adventure on good Took soil. Easily Faramir had confessed all his little errors to his father and very rarely was he punished. This made him less rather then more reckless and in the end, he was a fairly solid hobbit, well known for being dependable and intelligent.
Father's door was always open, but on this night there was an unease about it. The door was only cracked away from the frame, the closest Faramir had ever seen it to shut. Vaguely he was aware that was the anniversary of Uncle Frodo's strange disappearance. He had been the merest of babes when the enigmatic hobbit of Bag End had gone on to what the Thain described as 'fairer lands'. The memory of a dark, troubled person lingered with the sound of a tired laugh.
"Are you going to stay in the hall all night, my boy?" The jovial call erased most of his worries and he quickly entered to find his father leaning over his parchment strewn desk. Several open ledgers took up space on the floor and dark smudges of ink were blotted at random on short, deft fingers.
"Do you have time to talk?" He asked. Too shyly he was sure for his boisterous father's liking. Though the Thain never said anything, it was obvious that he was perplexed by his only offspring's quiet nature.
"Always for you lad. Pull up that stool and these columns as you go. Have to get the accounts ready for fall." They sat in silence for a long minute, the scratch of quill tips and stiff turning papers their music.
"How do you know if you're in love?" He finally blurted out, unable to contain himself any longer.
Wide blue eyes regarded him in gentle shock.
"In love?"
"I think I might be, but Peony says I'm far too young..."
"You're never too young to be in love." The Thain rested his head on the palm of his hand.
"Well, then, how do you know? If you are, I mean. Because I can't quite tell yet."
)*(
He burst into tears at the very moment he found a good hiding place. It wasn't fair. It wasn't! He'd wanted to play with his cousins, even if he didn't quite understand the purpose of all that silly pecking on the cheeks and turning red. He liked them and they weren't all there that often. Just because his sisters thought him to be a baby didn't mean the whole family should. He cried harder, all too aware that his tears only confirmed their taunts.
"Peregrine Took, are you hiding under the table again?" A familiar pair of feet came into view.
"No." He whispered stubbornly. A face followed the feet and soon a whole other body was crammed under the dessert table, a nice cloth turning it to a cave. "Go 'way."
"Oh, Pip, they didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"But they did." He insisted. "And it doesn't matter if they say they're sorry. They'll still think I'm a baby."
"You're not a baby, Pip. But you're not a grown up either."
"Neither are you." He pointed out, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "And neither are my sisters."
"You're right. We shouldn't be playing at grown up things. I think I'd rather hide under here with you."
That was the exact moment that Merry became his favorite cousin. They hid under the table and Merry listened patiently to every last one of his really gross jokes and then added a few new ones to his repertoire. Then they waited for adults to come and pretended their hands were mice, running over the women's feet. The subsequent shrieks and scolding sent them from their hiding place back indoors. They shifted through the dinner leftovers, finding choice bites that had been overlooked.
"You've got cranberry all over your chin." Merry commented, but made no condescending gesture to wipe it off, so Pip felt obliged to do it himself.
"I think I like being a baby if it means I get to play tricks and eat until I'm sick instead of knocking my head against some girl's and turning red in the face." He confided as they finished off their third helping of dessert.
And Merry said nothing about tastes changing or any of the other trite, blushing things his mother would dismiss him with. Instead, he taught him a new song, but they didn't dance because they were too full. When the time came for the Brandybuck branch of the family to make their way home, Pippin said a reluctant good-bye. Merry leaned down the few inches that separated and hugged him hard.
"I'll see you soon, Pip."
The warm flush that filled him long after the other boy was gone kept him humming and thoughtful for days. Everyone commented on how good and influence that Meriadoc was on young Peregrine. Little did they know that at the tender age of eleven, he'd fallen in love.
)*(
"You know the same way you know how to breath." Came the explanation finally. "You know because there isn't a way you can't know. You look at them and you think, yes. That's it. This is how it is meant to be."
"Then I am in love." The young boy was in awe of himself. Such a large and new emotion. "I don't think I'll ever love anyone else."
"Maybe, maybe not." The Thain smiled wanly. "Why don't you go on to bed."
When the boy was gone, Peregrine allowed himself a harsh sigh. Apparently, young love ran his family the same way adventure did. Faramir was not quite thirteen and already, he looked determined. The boy was slowly growing into his name, the quiet gravity and thought with which he performed his chores and poured over his studies befit the grand predecessor of it. And yet, even that did not prevent him from making the same irrational emotional decisions Peregrine had always made. Yes, adventure and young love were a Tooks' blessing and curse. Perhaps the same way loyalty was the Gamgees'.
Sam's letter was disquieting in it's own understated manner. As usual it contained nothing outside the usual pleasantries, a few notes about the Took vineyards and an apology for not coming to visit with the rest of his family. Rosie, fat with their sixth child, had brought along the whole brood only a week before, filling the house with boisterous noise. The duties of being Mayor had kept Sam at home, much to his obvious discomfort. For between the lines of careful propriety, Pippin could make out pain and longing. A part of him was looking ever out over the ocean, watching in vain for a returning vessel.
"Oh, Sam." He whispered to himself. "How hard you work for so strange a reward."
"Are you coming to bed soon, darling?" Diamond watched him from the door, a sweet smile and ready arms open.
"Right now." He said firmly, tucking the letter in with the rest of his correspondence. "Nothing here that can't hold until tomorrow."
)*(
The years passed in a lovely lucid brigade of warm summers and bitingly cold winters until Faramir found himself seventeen and once more nervously waiting outside his father's study. He was growing taller, already obviously larger then his cousins. It seemed his father's unusual height would be passed down. In the long run it would be an advantage, but right now, he felt only awkward and too bony.
"Father?"
"Come on in, lad." There was a certain sadness in the Thain's voice, now. Or perhaps it has always been there and he'd been to young to notice. There was a weight to it, just as there was something off about his gaze on occasion. Like he was seeing something terrible that hadn't been diluted by the passing years.
They spoke of the newly seeded orchard. It was showing a lot of promise already though there wouldn't be fruits for four or five years yet. There was no need to grow more apples, but the Thain had a weakness for them and they sold well as hobbit food when sound and made excellent hog food when rotten. When they'd exhausted the topic, Faramir paused and launched into his quarry.
"How do you know if someone loves you back?"
They hadn't spoken of the original conversation ever again, but now his father only nodded as if they had only talked the night before.
)*(
"I'm afraid." Pippin admitted into the darkness. "I don't want to be left behind, but I'm afraid to go."
"We're going." They'd been given separate rooms, but in light of the day's fateful council they had quietly paired up in Merry's bed. Which was more then large enough for two hobbits in any case. "And we can be just as brave as any Man."
"You'll have to help me be brave. I'm not very good at it on my own."
"Sure you are. You're certainly brave enough to do more then your own share of mischief."
"Did you hear that?" Someone was singing outside their window, a light elvish tune that lingered hauntingly in the air long after the singer had walked on.
"We should go to sleep. I suspect this is the last comfortable bed we shall lay in for a while." They were quiet for a long time. "Pip?"
"Mmm?"
"I'm afraid too."
It was hard to make out Merry's dark eyes in the fading light, so Pippin moved closer and gently laid a hand on his face. There, in the sweet autumn smells of Rivindell, they made their peace with each other. There were no words, no formal declarations. Nothing beyond the soft touch of lips and a sigh of acknowledgment. It made what followed easier and harder. Their love a burden that they delighted and despaired of carrying along with their packs into the face of unknown danger.
)*(
"You have to ask. Or do something like asking." The Thain tapped an idle pattern into his desk and for the first time, Faramir saw his father was not so perfectly strong and unwavering. There was something like regret in his words and a fine web of lines around his eyes.
"It's not mother, is it?" He said softly, almost unbelieving.
The Thain didn't speak. He stared down at his letters and trembled a little.
"But it's love! I know I could never love anyone else...how could you not be with her?"
"Because there is such a thing as responsibility, my son." A soft chuckle of irony. "And I learned too late that the heart does not always choose so wisely. Do not pretend to be so wise yet. There are still many things left for you to learn. And one is that love is not a finite thing. I am more the capable of loving you mother. Do not presume too much."
"I'm sorry." He felt a tinge of red on his cheeks and ducked his head. "It's only that you never speak of that time...before you came back to the Shire. I don't really know anything about it."
"One day, I will. And you will wish that I had not. There are such things in the world, my boy, that I would wish you never had need to know. Terrible ugly things I saw and did." A sword slices to easily through bone and whether it was orc or not, he had ended lives. Bloodied his weapons and worn armor splattered with others' flesh. "There was beauty too. And love. But that does not always make a story bright."
"At least it ends happily enough." Faramir grumbled.
"That it did. Now, to bed with you before your mother yells at me again."
The boy left, shaking his head. Pippin took up his letter again.
My dearest Merry,
Thank you for the fresh seedlings. I'm sure I don't know what Ivy did with the first packets you sent, but she is now contentedly replanting in hopes for a spring harvest. Diamond also extends her thanks, she was rather depending on the vegetable garden to take her mind off her lingering cough. Could you ask Hildifons for more of that syrup? It helped considerably last year.
The boy is at it again and I fear that the Took curse has taken hold for sure. I have not dared ask him who the object of his ardent affection out, I can only hope his heart has chosen wisely. How is your boy? The last I heard he was getting into all kinds of messes. It seems that our natures have been quite reversed in our children.
Have you spoken to Samwise recently? The estimable mayor's wife is promising to reproduce once more. I do hope that he doesn't take it in his head to visit us without proper warning. That brood of his could consume a field. The children have been good for him, I think, despite their massive appetites. He seems less sad. I only hope it lasts.
With deepest affections,
Pip
He would post it the next day and would, as usual receive his reply in a week or so. They wrote these innocuous letters to make up for the long spaces between meetings. Diamond would smile when he left whistling for Buckland. She was the f best friend he could have wished for and she never said a word when Merry's visits took him from her bed. She had her share of lovers, who were not exactly suitable and so they raised Faramir with joy in each other and not the fetid resentment that rose between Pippin's father and mother all those years ago.
)*(
"It's better this way, Pip." Merry tucked an errant lock of hair behind his cousin's ear. "Someday you will be Thain and I. Master of Buckland. There will be no time for trysts there. And I certainly can't bare you an heir."
"I wish it was different. Why couldn't you have been born a lass!"
"Me? I would make a terrible wife, Pippin. Besides, would you have taken a girl on a quest?"
"No, I suppose not."
They lay together under the warm summer sky on a thin layer of grass in Bag End's gardens. The vegetation was growing back slowly across the Shire and here they flourished best of all under Samwise's gentle hands.
"Don't grieve so. I'm not going anywhere." Merry tapped fingers against Pippin's hip.
"No. It's worse because you're not. " He sighed and bit his lip. "I wish we were farmers or stayed in Gondor...."
"Even farmers marry. And we're needed here." Quick fingers moved to cup Pippin's face. "There are things greater then love for another. Our love and responsibility for our land comes before this."
Silently, Pippin allowed himself to be kissed, but he thought hard about what Merry said that night and concluded he was wrong. Their love was greater then anything else. It had gotten them through the ugliest of times and tied them closer then any orc rope. They did for their land and people because responsibility is a heavy burden not to be shrugged away, not out of some silly thought of love. He learned to be Thain, married Diamond and sired Faramir, not because he was so infatuated with doing so. He did it to be worthy of the great gift of love Merry had given him. When the time was right and they had earned their rest, they would be together again in a way they could not now.
)*(
Three nights after Faramir's coming of age ceremony, he came to his father's door once more. He had grown into a fine young hobbit with serious dark eyes and an ethereal height. More then a few mothers looked appreciatively at him and thrust their young daughters to dance with the birthday boy. He had obliged each one, conferring no special favors to any under the watchful eyes of his mother. As far as he could see the Thain himself had no interest in his dances. The older hobbit had spent the bulk of the party engaged with two feuding families over land distribution. It had been smoothed over by the end of the party. Claiming fatigue, the Thain had relinquished the hosting of it to his wife and retired.
This night it seemed that Thain had not slept as he should. There were dark bags under his eyes and he was sketching idly on his papers instead of drawing up contracts. The study window was open wide, letting fresh spring air in through the windows.
"Father, I wish to marry." He announced, not bothering to sit. His heart beat in his throat, ready for some rebuttal of youth.
"Oh? Do I finally get to meet the mystery girl we've spoken of all these years?"
"You've met her before. Father, I want to marry Goldilocks Gamgee." He grinned. "And I'm going to need your help to do it."
"My help? You can't trick a lass into loving you!"
"She already loves me, father. But she's a year short of her coming of age. We've waited so long to be old enough and now that I am, I don't want to wait. We need you to convince Mayor Gamgee."
"You want me to what?" Blue eyes opened impossibly wide.
"He wants her to wait for her coming of age, but that means withstanding a year of all those lasses throwing themselves at me. We just want to get married. It's a good match."
"I'll not argue that." The Thain shook his head. "I'm going to need reinforcements for this."
)*(
To Thain Peregrine:
Sit tight. Will be there shortly. Estella sends her love and some of the peaches.
-Master Brandybuck
)*(
"Absolutely not." Sam glared at two of his oldest friends with resentment flaring in his eyes. "If he feels that strongly, he can wait out the year."
"There are lasses already throwing themselves at him. If he doesn't pick a bride soon enough there will be talk." Pip began.
"Not to mention all sorts of shenanigans as they try to make themselves more worthy to him. Bound to be a disgracing or too." Merry added. "It's all easily avoided. She loves him, he loves her...."
"Then let them be engaged for a year. A little waiting never hurt anyone." The Mayor sat heavily into his arm chair.
"Samwise Gamgee!" Pippin pulled a face of horror. "You of all people!"
"None of that now. I won't be scolded by my own past." The growl didn't wipe the expression from Pippin's face. "I simply won't."
"An engagement would be worse." Merry pointed out. "If the other girls know he's chosen her, they'll be annoying her as well. Trying to set her up with other lads or worse."
"I didn't realize he was so sought after." Sam spoke bitterly. "A fine lad you raised, Thain."
"Faramir is a decent lad." Merry said firmly. "With good Took blood. He's also heir to a great deal of land and wealth. You can't deny that."
"And he spent nearly a year with you, some time ago." Pippin reminded. "You told me you thought him fit and well enough to marry any of your daughters."
"I have no hope in this at all, do I?" Sam rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "You're quite the force, the two of you."
"We fight for what we believe in." Merry twisted a grin at Pip and the Thain's treacherous heart skipped a beat as it always did. "Don't be so down, Samwise. Another wedding for you and Rosie to dance at and another find match made. You have more daughters and sons, yet. Faramir won't be robbing you of youngsters."
"He is a good lad." Sam allowed. "I should be proud to have him as a son-in-law. Rosie's always liked him. She'll be persuaded easily enough."
"Thank you, Sam." Pippin laid a hand on his shoulder.
"It must be harder for you." Sam said softly. "You've only the one."
"Yes." But Pippin was staring at Merry. "In some ways it is."
"Come on now, let's start making plans. This should be a grand occasion!" Merry went through Sam's things for paper and parchment, drawing them into the more practical aspects of the wedding.
When Pip told his son that the date was set for three months time, he was hugged harder then he could remember.
"You're the best!" His son whooped, running off to tell his mother. "Thank you!"
"Don't forget to write a thank you note to Uncle Meriadoc!" He yelled after him.
)*(
Young Master Took,
You're father and his erstwhile companion have eloquently persuaded me to allow you to marry my daughter. It may be said that I am something of a protective father, but it is only because my children mean more to me then you can yet imagine. Perhaps when you and Goldilocks have your own, you'll understand. From this day forth, if you have a bone to pick with me then you will come to me.
With that said, you have my blessings. May your marriage be happy and peaceful with not too many unexpected happenings. Your father will tell you about the details I'm sure. Keep her safe. Let her know no pain, if you can help it.
Sincerely,
Samwise Gamgee
)*(
Uncle Meriadoc,
Thanks cannot be enough. I have never been happier then I am this moment, knowing that in a few weeks I will be married to the most beautiful lass in the Shire. It is partly your doing and I will never forget that.
I have taken some time to write you this letter, but I have been thinking about a lot of things that I wish to say to you, but fear I could never manage face to face. You have been a part of my life as long as I can remember, both as a distant relative and Father's dearest friend. I have great respect for you and have no wish to insult you.
But I feel I must ask. For many years, my Father has lectured me a great deal, answered a variety of questions. None have stuck with me half as much as those about love. He speaks with great authority and sorrow. For a long time, I have known that it is not my mother with whom his deepest and truest love lies. I imagined some other, distant women from his time of adventures.
How long have you held this secret love? How many years? If son is anything like father, it must be decades now. How can you live like this? Is there anything I can do?
I hope I do not offend. Please, do not tell my father I have discovered this. He seems to wish me never to know.
-Faramir Took
)*(
The wedding was beautiful. There was dancing, feasting and more drinking then was healthy for anybody. Faramir and Goldilocks were the picture of contented newly weds, red checked and bright-eyed they walked the crowd most of the night, practically inseparable. Rosie and Diamond were already putting their heads together in motherly planning.
By the end of the party, the fathers were well and truly drunk, sitting a far distance away toasting each other and every person they could think of collectively. After a pace, Master Brandybuck joined them and the three veterans were allowed a careful distance to polish off the night with a fever of drunken memories that no one else could quite follow.
"Are they gone?" Pip looked up, remarkably clear eyed. The last of the other revelers had left the older men to their drinks.
"Yes." Three mugs settled back on the table.
"Well, that's it then. My son's a married man." Pippin shook his head. "All maintenance now until I slide into my grave."
"Don't be melodramatic." Merry scolded. "You've got plenty of time left to you."
"It does seem as if time is getting faster." Sam mused, oblivious to the two hard stares pointed at him. "Like we've reached a peak somehow and now it's all flowing down hill. My Gaffer used to say that aging makes the time go."
"Well, we are all of us getting gray." Merry grudgingly admitted. "But that's no reason to start talking like death's just about the corner."
"Maybe not death." Pippin relented. "But you must admit to some joint cracking and the old uniform not fitting quite as it should."
"It's a point." Sam relented and they sipped at their mugs for a moment, lost in various musings. "Do you think...do you think he's aged?"
There is only one He among them, who is mentioned without name and who's seat is forever empty across from Samwise at these parties. They stare at his place.
"I don't know. That place..it isn't exactly living the way we do. It's eleven stuff." Merry looked uneasily away.
"You'll find out." Pippin said softly, startling both of his companions. Ever since he'd held the palantir, a certain fever had entered his eyes and never quite left. It wasn't that he saw anything, but once and a while, he would become caught up those that heard him speak felt their skin crawl.
"Shut up, Pip." Merry nudged him. "You've gone and drank too much trying to scare the others off."
"There was never a day when I have drunk too much." He shook himself and finished off what sat before him and Merry's besides. "Now, Master Brandybuck, it would seem it were time to retire."
He rose, leaving Merry to follow. The older hobbit paused for a long moment, watching him walk smoothly away.
"Sam?"
"Mmm?" The other hobbit was now staring at the bottom of the stein as if the dregs might tell him the future.
"You've known. Haven't you? About me and Pippin all these long years?"
The half-grin and raised eyebrow took years off the plump face and for a moment, Merry glimpsed young Samwise in the garden.
"It's something hard to miss by those that know you best, Master Brandybuck. But we've kept silent all this time. Why do you ask now?"
"Young Faramir knows." He spoke softly. "I haven't told Pippin, but he sent me this letter. I don't know... he doesn't seem to mind much, but what do I tell him?"
"To mind his own business. Beggin' you're pardon, but I don't believe what you and the Thain get up to is anyone's business, but yours. Obviously Diamond and Estella don't mind, I can't imagine you two not telling your own wives. Me and...well we guessed enough."
"He knew?"
The grin faded.
"He saw more then any of us ever believed." Sam sighed softly. "Be happy with what you have and tell young Faramir that love is a strange beast."
"I will. Thank you, Sam." Merry rose, clapping him hard on the shoulder, before going to follow Pippin.
"To you, Mr. Frodo." Sam saluted the air and polished off the last of the beer. He searched to crowd with his eyes. Rosie was carrying Tolman and pushing a young Robin towards home. "All finished then, Mistress Gamgee?"
"Samwise, come help me!" She ordered, a smile on her pretty face. "We've got to get this brood home before the sun rises or we shan't be ready with the brunch tomorrow."
"Coming!"
In the distance, Faramir watched his father-in-law walk off and then glanced up to where his father and Uncle had disappeared. He sighed softly to himself.
"What is it darling?" Goldilocks placed a gentle hand on his arm.
"It's nothing. Come, I think we can say our farewells now."
)*(
To my beloved son,
I recently received a letter from your darling wife to inform me that I am again a grandfather. I hope she grows to be as beautiful as her mother and as wise as her father. My heart is heavy with sorrow to know that I will not have a chance to see her. Be sure to tell her all the stories about me, true or not.
We are both well, but unable to make the journey from Gondor back to the Shire. Our resting place will be here, a good excuse for young hobbits to make the long journey, eh? King Elessar seems finally touched by age and many are the pints we have shared with him grieving for darker hair and loose joints. The Lady Arwen remains a beauty who is uncapturable. Merry has tried, so I enclosed a few of his sketches, along with those of the view from our stone house.
There are also a few of the lists you asked me to make up, but these are the last of it. You're more then capable of doing this work on your own. No need to send for things to make me feel useful in my dotage.
With love,
Father
)*(
"Finished yet? I want to get down to the market while there's light." Merry gripped.
"We'd get there faster if you didn't fuss so." Pippin sealed the envelope with the hot drip of wax. "All right, I'm finished."
He stood up slowly and stretched, listening to the various complaints of his body where old wounds throbbed. Merry waited patiently at the door, holding out his jacket. His face was lined and his beautiful thick hair well threaded with gray and white. He looked as beautiful as the day they had left Rivindell.
"I need some ink." He told him as Merry eased the jacket over his shoulders, brushing it smooth.
"Quills too, if I'm any judge. You're too hard on your writing supplies." They kissed briefly in the light of the setting sun. "Now, come along, before they close the stalls."
Dutifully, he grabbed their basket and followed his beloved outside, locking the door carefully behind him. They walked down the paved street, speaking idly of things to be done during the week, books to be found for Merry's research and the exact shade of the setting sun. Others greeted them as they walked and the merchants they stopped with haggled expertly until they had all they needed for the week at the right costs.
The walk back was harder, it had grown black and chilly. They bustled inside the house, Merry setting to work on cooking dinner while Pippin put away the things they had purchased. They ate in contented silence and moved to the sitting room to smoke and play a game of cards until it was time to retire.
In bed, they struggled with the comforter for a moment or so until Pippin settled himself firmly against Merry's chest, the blanket near to smothering him.
"Merry?"
"Mmm?"
"I love you."
"I know." Thin fingers wound in his hair and stroked it away from his face. "Now go to sleep, my foolish Took or you'll regret it when the sun comes in to wake us."
Contented, Pippin slipped into sleep and dreamed of an endless sea and the glimpse of a swift sunrise over green land.
PG 13
Summary: Faramir Took asks his father about love. mild incest.
A sliver of light feel from the open study door to paint shadows on the walls of the hall. Faramir stood anxiously outside, feeling for the first time a trepidation in his father's presence. The Thain was the most good natured and indulgent father any son could hope for. Many were the days that they took off together in search of some mundane adventure on good Took soil. Easily Faramir had confessed all his little errors to his father and very rarely was he punished. This made him less rather then more reckless and in the end, he was a fairly solid hobbit, well known for being dependable and intelligent.
Father's door was always open, but on this night there was an unease about it. The door was only cracked away from the frame, the closest Faramir had ever seen it to shut. Vaguely he was aware that was the anniversary of Uncle Frodo's strange disappearance. He had been the merest of babes when the enigmatic hobbit of Bag End had gone on to what the Thain described as 'fairer lands'. The memory of a dark, troubled person lingered with the sound of a tired laugh.
"Are you going to stay in the hall all night, my boy?" The jovial call erased most of his worries and he quickly entered to find his father leaning over his parchment strewn desk. Several open ledgers took up space on the floor and dark smudges of ink were blotted at random on short, deft fingers.
"Do you have time to talk?" He asked. Too shyly he was sure for his boisterous father's liking. Though the Thain never said anything, it was obvious that he was perplexed by his only offspring's quiet nature.
"Always for you lad. Pull up that stool and these columns as you go. Have to get the accounts ready for fall." They sat in silence for a long minute, the scratch of quill tips and stiff turning papers their music.
"How do you know if you're in love?" He finally blurted out, unable to contain himself any longer.
Wide blue eyes regarded him in gentle shock.
"In love?"
"I think I might be, but Peony says I'm far too young..."
"You're never too young to be in love." The Thain rested his head on the palm of his hand.
"Well, then, how do you know? If you are, I mean. Because I can't quite tell yet."
)*(
He burst into tears at the very moment he found a good hiding place. It wasn't fair. It wasn't! He'd wanted to play with his cousins, even if he didn't quite understand the purpose of all that silly pecking on the cheeks and turning red. He liked them and they weren't all there that often. Just because his sisters thought him to be a baby didn't mean the whole family should. He cried harder, all too aware that his tears only confirmed their taunts.
"Peregrine Took, are you hiding under the table again?" A familiar pair of feet came into view.
"No." He whispered stubbornly. A face followed the feet and soon a whole other body was crammed under the dessert table, a nice cloth turning it to a cave. "Go 'way."
"Oh, Pip, they didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"But they did." He insisted. "And it doesn't matter if they say they're sorry. They'll still think I'm a baby."
"You're not a baby, Pip. But you're not a grown up either."
"Neither are you." He pointed out, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "And neither are my sisters."
"You're right. We shouldn't be playing at grown up things. I think I'd rather hide under here with you."
That was the exact moment that Merry became his favorite cousin. They hid under the table and Merry listened patiently to every last one of his really gross jokes and then added a few new ones to his repertoire. Then they waited for adults to come and pretended their hands were mice, running over the women's feet. The subsequent shrieks and scolding sent them from their hiding place back indoors. They shifted through the dinner leftovers, finding choice bites that had been overlooked.
"You've got cranberry all over your chin." Merry commented, but made no condescending gesture to wipe it off, so Pip felt obliged to do it himself.
"I think I like being a baby if it means I get to play tricks and eat until I'm sick instead of knocking my head against some girl's and turning red in the face." He confided as they finished off their third helping of dessert.
And Merry said nothing about tastes changing or any of the other trite, blushing things his mother would dismiss him with. Instead, he taught him a new song, but they didn't dance because they were too full. When the time came for the Brandybuck branch of the family to make their way home, Pippin said a reluctant good-bye. Merry leaned down the few inches that separated and hugged him hard.
"I'll see you soon, Pip."
The warm flush that filled him long after the other boy was gone kept him humming and thoughtful for days. Everyone commented on how good and influence that Meriadoc was on young Peregrine. Little did they know that at the tender age of eleven, he'd fallen in love.
)*(
"You know the same way you know how to breath." Came the explanation finally. "You know because there isn't a way you can't know. You look at them and you think, yes. That's it. This is how it is meant to be."
"Then I am in love." The young boy was in awe of himself. Such a large and new emotion. "I don't think I'll ever love anyone else."
"Maybe, maybe not." The Thain smiled wanly. "Why don't you go on to bed."
When the boy was gone, Peregrine allowed himself a harsh sigh. Apparently, young love ran his family the same way adventure did. Faramir was not quite thirteen and already, he looked determined. The boy was slowly growing into his name, the quiet gravity and thought with which he performed his chores and poured over his studies befit the grand predecessor of it. And yet, even that did not prevent him from making the same irrational emotional decisions Peregrine had always made. Yes, adventure and young love were a Tooks' blessing and curse. Perhaps the same way loyalty was the Gamgees'.
Sam's letter was disquieting in it's own understated manner. As usual it contained nothing outside the usual pleasantries, a few notes about the Took vineyards and an apology for not coming to visit with the rest of his family. Rosie, fat with their sixth child, had brought along the whole brood only a week before, filling the house with boisterous noise. The duties of being Mayor had kept Sam at home, much to his obvious discomfort. For between the lines of careful propriety, Pippin could make out pain and longing. A part of him was looking ever out over the ocean, watching in vain for a returning vessel.
"Oh, Sam." He whispered to himself. "How hard you work for so strange a reward."
"Are you coming to bed soon, darling?" Diamond watched him from the door, a sweet smile and ready arms open.
"Right now." He said firmly, tucking the letter in with the rest of his correspondence. "Nothing here that can't hold until tomorrow."
)*(
The years passed in a lovely lucid brigade of warm summers and bitingly cold winters until Faramir found himself seventeen and once more nervously waiting outside his father's study. He was growing taller, already obviously larger then his cousins. It seemed his father's unusual height would be passed down. In the long run it would be an advantage, but right now, he felt only awkward and too bony.
"Father?"
"Come on in, lad." There was a certain sadness in the Thain's voice, now. Or perhaps it has always been there and he'd been to young to notice. There was a weight to it, just as there was something off about his gaze on occasion. Like he was seeing something terrible that hadn't been diluted by the passing years.
They spoke of the newly seeded orchard. It was showing a lot of promise already though there wouldn't be fruits for four or five years yet. There was no need to grow more apples, but the Thain had a weakness for them and they sold well as hobbit food when sound and made excellent hog food when rotten. When they'd exhausted the topic, Faramir paused and launched into his quarry.
"How do you know if someone loves you back?"
They hadn't spoken of the original conversation ever again, but now his father only nodded as if they had only talked the night before.
)*(
"I'm afraid." Pippin admitted into the darkness. "I don't want to be left behind, but I'm afraid to go."
"We're going." They'd been given separate rooms, but in light of the day's fateful council they had quietly paired up in Merry's bed. Which was more then large enough for two hobbits in any case. "And we can be just as brave as any Man."
"You'll have to help me be brave. I'm not very good at it on my own."
"Sure you are. You're certainly brave enough to do more then your own share of mischief."
"Did you hear that?" Someone was singing outside their window, a light elvish tune that lingered hauntingly in the air long after the singer had walked on.
"We should go to sleep. I suspect this is the last comfortable bed we shall lay in for a while." They were quiet for a long time. "Pip?"
"Mmm?"
"I'm afraid too."
It was hard to make out Merry's dark eyes in the fading light, so Pippin moved closer and gently laid a hand on his face. There, in the sweet autumn smells of Rivindell, they made their peace with each other. There were no words, no formal declarations. Nothing beyond the soft touch of lips and a sigh of acknowledgment. It made what followed easier and harder. Their love a burden that they delighted and despaired of carrying along with their packs into the face of unknown danger.
)*(
"You have to ask. Or do something like asking." The Thain tapped an idle pattern into his desk and for the first time, Faramir saw his father was not so perfectly strong and unwavering. There was something like regret in his words and a fine web of lines around his eyes.
"It's not mother, is it?" He said softly, almost unbelieving.
The Thain didn't speak. He stared down at his letters and trembled a little.
"But it's love! I know I could never love anyone else...how could you not be with her?"
"Because there is such a thing as responsibility, my son." A soft chuckle of irony. "And I learned too late that the heart does not always choose so wisely. Do not pretend to be so wise yet. There are still many things left for you to learn. And one is that love is not a finite thing. I am more the capable of loving you mother. Do not presume too much."
"I'm sorry." He felt a tinge of red on his cheeks and ducked his head. "It's only that you never speak of that time...before you came back to the Shire. I don't really know anything about it."
"One day, I will. And you will wish that I had not. There are such things in the world, my boy, that I would wish you never had need to know. Terrible ugly things I saw and did." A sword slices to easily through bone and whether it was orc or not, he had ended lives. Bloodied his weapons and worn armor splattered with others' flesh. "There was beauty too. And love. But that does not always make a story bright."
"At least it ends happily enough." Faramir grumbled.
"That it did. Now, to bed with you before your mother yells at me again."
The boy left, shaking his head. Pippin took up his letter again.
My dearest Merry,
Thank you for the fresh seedlings. I'm sure I don't know what Ivy did with the first packets you sent, but she is now contentedly replanting in hopes for a spring harvest. Diamond also extends her thanks, she was rather depending on the vegetable garden to take her mind off her lingering cough. Could you ask Hildifons for more of that syrup? It helped considerably last year.
The boy is at it again and I fear that the Took curse has taken hold for sure. I have not dared ask him who the object of his ardent affection out, I can only hope his heart has chosen wisely. How is your boy? The last I heard he was getting into all kinds of messes. It seems that our natures have been quite reversed in our children.
Have you spoken to Samwise recently? The estimable mayor's wife is promising to reproduce once more. I do hope that he doesn't take it in his head to visit us without proper warning. That brood of his could consume a field. The children have been good for him, I think, despite their massive appetites. He seems less sad. I only hope it lasts.
With deepest affections,
Pip
He would post it the next day and would, as usual receive his reply in a week or so. They wrote these innocuous letters to make up for the long spaces between meetings. Diamond would smile when he left whistling for Buckland. She was the f best friend he could have wished for and she never said a word when Merry's visits took him from her bed. She had her share of lovers, who were not exactly suitable and so they raised Faramir with joy in each other and not the fetid resentment that rose between Pippin's father and mother all those years ago.
)*(
"It's better this way, Pip." Merry tucked an errant lock of hair behind his cousin's ear. "Someday you will be Thain and I. Master of Buckland. There will be no time for trysts there. And I certainly can't bare you an heir."
"I wish it was different. Why couldn't you have been born a lass!"
"Me? I would make a terrible wife, Pippin. Besides, would you have taken a girl on a quest?"
"No, I suppose not."
They lay together under the warm summer sky on a thin layer of grass in Bag End's gardens. The vegetation was growing back slowly across the Shire and here they flourished best of all under Samwise's gentle hands.
"Don't grieve so. I'm not going anywhere." Merry tapped fingers against Pippin's hip.
"No. It's worse because you're not. " He sighed and bit his lip. "I wish we were farmers or stayed in Gondor...."
"Even farmers marry. And we're needed here." Quick fingers moved to cup Pippin's face. "There are things greater then love for another. Our love and responsibility for our land comes before this."
Silently, Pippin allowed himself to be kissed, but he thought hard about what Merry said that night and concluded he was wrong. Their love was greater then anything else. It had gotten them through the ugliest of times and tied them closer then any orc rope. They did for their land and people because responsibility is a heavy burden not to be shrugged away, not out of some silly thought of love. He learned to be Thain, married Diamond and sired Faramir, not because he was so infatuated with doing so. He did it to be worthy of the great gift of love Merry had given him. When the time was right and they had earned their rest, they would be together again in a way they could not now.
)*(
Three nights after Faramir's coming of age ceremony, he came to his father's door once more. He had grown into a fine young hobbit with serious dark eyes and an ethereal height. More then a few mothers looked appreciatively at him and thrust their young daughters to dance with the birthday boy. He had obliged each one, conferring no special favors to any under the watchful eyes of his mother. As far as he could see the Thain himself had no interest in his dances. The older hobbit had spent the bulk of the party engaged with two feuding families over land distribution. It had been smoothed over by the end of the party. Claiming fatigue, the Thain had relinquished the hosting of it to his wife and retired.
This night it seemed that Thain had not slept as he should. There were dark bags under his eyes and he was sketching idly on his papers instead of drawing up contracts. The study window was open wide, letting fresh spring air in through the windows.
"Father, I wish to marry." He announced, not bothering to sit. His heart beat in his throat, ready for some rebuttal of youth.
"Oh? Do I finally get to meet the mystery girl we've spoken of all these years?"
"You've met her before. Father, I want to marry Goldilocks Gamgee." He grinned. "And I'm going to need your help to do it."
"My help? You can't trick a lass into loving you!"
"She already loves me, father. But she's a year short of her coming of age. We've waited so long to be old enough and now that I am, I don't want to wait. We need you to convince Mayor Gamgee."
"You want me to what?" Blue eyes opened impossibly wide.
"He wants her to wait for her coming of age, but that means withstanding a year of all those lasses throwing themselves at me. We just want to get married. It's a good match."
"I'll not argue that." The Thain shook his head. "I'm going to need reinforcements for this."
)*(
To Thain Peregrine:
Sit tight. Will be there shortly. Estella sends her love and some of the peaches.
-Master Brandybuck
)*(
"Absolutely not." Sam glared at two of his oldest friends with resentment flaring in his eyes. "If he feels that strongly, he can wait out the year."
"There are lasses already throwing themselves at him. If he doesn't pick a bride soon enough there will be talk." Pip began.
"Not to mention all sorts of shenanigans as they try to make themselves more worthy to him. Bound to be a disgracing or too." Merry added. "It's all easily avoided. She loves him, he loves her...."
"Then let them be engaged for a year. A little waiting never hurt anyone." The Mayor sat heavily into his arm chair.
"Samwise Gamgee!" Pippin pulled a face of horror. "You of all people!"
"None of that now. I won't be scolded by my own past." The growl didn't wipe the expression from Pippin's face. "I simply won't."
"An engagement would be worse." Merry pointed out. "If the other girls know he's chosen her, they'll be annoying her as well. Trying to set her up with other lads or worse."
"I didn't realize he was so sought after." Sam spoke bitterly. "A fine lad you raised, Thain."
"Faramir is a decent lad." Merry said firmly. "With good Took blood. He's also heir to a great deal of land and wealth. You can't deny that."
"And he spent nearly a year with you, some time ago." Pippin reminded. "You told me you thought him fit and well enough to marry any of your daughters."
"I have no hope in this at all, do I?" Sam rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "You're quite the force, the two of you."
"We fight for what we believe in." Merry twisted a grin at Pip and the Thain's treacherous heart skipped a beat as it always did. "Don't be so down, Samwise. Another wedding for you and Rosie to dance at and another find match made. You have more daughters and sons, yet. Faramir won't be robbing you of youngsters."
"He is a good lad." Sam allowed. "I should be proud to have him as a son-in-law. Rosie's always liked him. She'll be persuaded easily enough."
"Thank you, Sam." Pippin laid a hand on his shoulder.
"It must be harder for you." Sam said softly. "You've only the one."
"Yes." But Pippin was staring at Merry. "In some ways it is."
"Come on now, let's start making plans. This should be a grand occasion!" Merry went through Sam's things for paper and parchment, drawing them into the more practical aspects of the wedding.
When Pip told his son that the date was set for three months time, he was hugged harder then he could remember.
"You're the best!" His son whooped, running off to tell his mother. "Thank you!"
"Don't forget to write a thank you note to Uncle Meriadoc!" He yelled after him.
)*(
Young Master Took,
You're father and his erstwhile companion have eloquently persuaded me to allow you to marry my daughter. It may be said that I am something of a protective father, but it is only because my children mean more to me then you can yet imagine. Perhaps when you and Goldilocks have your own, you'll understand. From this day forth, if you have a bone to pick with me then you will come to me.
With that said, you have my blessings. May your marriage be happy and peaceful with not too many unexpected happenings. Your father will tell you about the details I'm sure. Keep her safe. Let her know no pain, if you can help it.
Sincerely,
Samwise Gamgee
)*(
Uncle Meriadoc,
Thanks cannot be enough. I have never been happier then I am this moment, knowing that in a few weeks I will be married to the most beautiful lass in the Shire. It is partly your doing and I will never forget that.
I have taken some time to write you this letter, but I have been thinking about a lot of things that I wish to say to you, but fear I could never manage face to face. You have been a part of my life as long as I can remember, both as a distant relative and Father's dearest friend. I have great respect for you and have no wish to insult you.
But I feel I must ask. For many years, my Father has lectured me a great deal, answered a variety of questions. None have stuck with me half as much as those about love. He speaks with great authority and sorrow. For a long time, I have known that it is not my mother with whom his deepest and truest love lies. I imagined some other, distant women from his time of adventures.
How long have you held this secret love? How many years? If son is anything like father, it must be decades now. How can you live like this? Is there anything I can do?
I hope I do not offend. Please, do not tell my father I have discovered this. He seems to wish me never to know.
-Faramir Took
)*(
The wedding was beautiful. There was dancing, feasting and more drinking then was healthy for anybody. Faramir and Goldilocks were the picture of contented newly weds, red checked and bright-eyed they walked the crowd most of the night, practically inseparable. Rosie and Diamond were already putting their heads together in motherly planning.
By the end of the party, the fathers were well and truly drunk, sitting a far distance away toasting each other and every person they could think of collectively. After a pace, Master Brandybuck joined them and the three veterans were allowed a careful distance to polish off the night with a fever of drunken memories that no one else could quite follow.
"Are they gone?" Pip looked up, remarkably clear eyed. The last of the other revelers had left the older men to their drinks.
"Yes." Three mugs settled back on the table.
"Well, that's it then. My son's a married man." Pippin shook his head. "All maintenance now until I slide into my grave."
"Don't be melodramatic." Merry scolded. "You've got plenty of time left to you."
"It does seem as if time is getting faster." Sam mused, oblivious to the two hard stares pointed at him. "Like we've reached a peak somehow and now it's all flowing down hill. My Gaffer used to say that aging makes the time go."
"Well, we are all of us getting gray." Merry grudgingly admitted. "But that's no reason to start talking like death's just about the corner."
"Maybe not death." Pippin relented. "But you must admit to some joint cracking and the old uniform not fitting quite as it should."
"It's a point." Sam relented and they sipped at their mugs for a moment, lost in various musings. "Do you think...do you think he's aged?"
There is only one He among them, who is mentioned without name and who's seat is forever empty across from Samwise at these parties. They stare at his place.
"I don't know. That place..it isn't exactly living the way we do. It's eleven stuff." Merry looked uneasily away.
"You'll find out." Pippin said softly, startling both of his companions. Ever since he'd held the palantir, a certain fever had entered his eyes and never quite left. It wasn't that he saw anything, but once and a while, he would become caught up those that heard him speak felt their skin crawl.
"Shut up, Pip." Merry nudged him. "You've gone and drank too much trying to scare the others off."
"There was never a day when I have drunk too much." He shook himself and finished off what sat before him and Merry's besides. "Now, Master Brandybuck, it would seem it were time to retire."
He rose, leaving Merry to follow. The older hobbit paused for a long moment, watching him walk smoothly away.
"Sam?"
"Mmm?" The other hobbit was now staring at the bottom of the stein as if the dregs might tell him the future.
"You've known. Haven't you? About me and Pippin all these long years?"
The half-grin and raised eyebrow took years off the plump face and for a moment, Merry glimpsed young Samwise in the garden.
"It's something hard to miss by those that know you best, Master Brandybuck. But we've kept silent all this time. Why do you ask now?"
"Young Faramir knows." He spoke softly. "I haven't told Pippin, but he sent me this letter. I don't know... he doesn't seem to mind much, but what do I tell him?"
"To mind his own business. Beggin' you're pardon, but I don't believe what you and the Thain get up to is anyone's business, but yours. Obviously Diamond and Estella don't mind, I can't imagine you two not telling your own wives. Me and...well we guessed enough."
"He knew?"
The grin faded.
"He saw more then any of us ever believed." Sam sighed softly. "Be happy with what you have and tell young Faramir that love is a strange beast."
"I will. Thank you, Sam." Merry rose, clapping him hard on the shoulder, before going to follow Pippin.
"To you, Mr. Frodo." Sam saluted the air and polished off the last of the beer. He searched to crowd with his eyes. Rosie was carrying Tolman and pushing a young Robin towards home. "All finished then, Mistress Gamgee?"
"Samwise, come help me!" She ordered, a smile on her pretty face. "We've got to get this brood home before the sun rises or we shan't be ready with the brunch tomorrow."
"Coming!"
In the distance, Faramir watched his father-in-law walk off and then glanced up to where his father and Uncle had disappeared. He sighed softly to himself.
"What is it darling?" Goldilocks placed a gentle hand on his arm.
"It's nothing. Come, I think we can say our farewells now."
)*(
To my beloved son,
I recently received a letter from your darling wife to inform me that I am again a grandfather. I hope she grows to be as beautiful as her mother and as wise as her father. My heart is heavy with sorrow to know that I will not have a chance to see her. Be sure to tell her all the stories about me, true or not.
We are both well, but unable to make the journey from Gondor back to the Shire. Our resting place will be here, a good excuse for young hobbits to make the long journey, eh? King Elessar seems finally touched by age and many are the pints we have shared with him grieving for darker hair and loose joints. The Lady Arwen remains a beauty who is uncapturable. Merry has tried, so I enclosed a few of his sketches, along with those of the view from our stone house.
There are also a few of the lists you asked me to make up, but these are the last of it. You're more then capable of doing this work on your own. No need to send for things to make me feel useful in my dotage.
With love,
Father
)*(
"Finished yet? I want to get down to the market while there's light." Merry gripped.
"We'd get there faster if you didn't fuss so." Pippin sealed the envelope with the hot drip of wax. "All right, I'm finished."
He stood up slowly and stretched, listening to the various complaints of his body where old wounds throbbed. Merry waited patiently at the door, holding out his jacket. His face was lined and his beautiful thick hair well threaded with gray and white. He looked as beautiful as the day they had left Rivindell.
"I need some ink." He told him as Merry eased the jacket over his shoulders, brushing it smooth.
"Quills too, if I'm any judge. You're too hard on your writing supplies." They kissed briefly in the light of the setting sun. "Now, come along, before they close the stalls."
Dutifully, he grabbed their basket and followed his beloved outside, locking the door carefully behind him. They walked down the paved street, speaking idly of things to be done during the week, books to be found for Merry's research and the exact shade of the setting sun. Others greeted them as they walked and the merchants they stopped with haggled expertly until they had all they needed for the week at the right costs.
The walk back was harder, it had grown black and chilly. They bustled inside the house, Merry setting to work on cooking dinner while Pippin put away the things they had purchased. They ate in contented silence and moved to the sitting room to smoke and play a game of cards until it was time to retire.
In bed, they struggled with the comforter for a moment or so until Pippin settled himself firmly against Merry's chest, the blanket near to smothering him.
"Merry?"
"Mmm?"
"I love you."
"I know." Thin fingers wound in his hair and stroked it away from his face. "Now go to sleep, my foolish Took or you'll regret it when the sun comes in to wake us."
Contented, Pippin slipped into sleep and dreamed of an endless sea and the glimpse of a swift sunrise over green land.
